Can you send the link, please? It does not necessarily mean you dont love your husband. This is human nature though - we tend to value things once we REALLY realize that they can be taken away or gone at any time. it is so hard to get back from that hurt. Because vulnerability increases the chance that you might get hurt, being vulnerable can be scary. She has been like my teenage daughter who can do no right. If he was shocked why would he not have mentioned the initial incident to me? I wanted to leave him for good considering all that has happened but I didnt have the strength to leave. I consider her my life partner and we both cannot imagine a future together. hi, wed been together for 6 yrs, it was not a perfect relationship but we did get through on all of the trials and challenges, i thought we are stronger now because we had been througha lot of rough patches. We is currently finishing her masters thesis right now too and says she doesnt have the emotional capacity to focus on too many things at once, that we should focus on our own issues for the time being and try to work together when she is emotional adept to do so. The kind of trust and respect we had is something that neither of us had ever had with anyone before and is devastating to lose. Things turn suddenly drastically becos his wife learn about matters of us though we never commit any offence. This man really does make me a better person, but there have been other lies in our relationship from him I dont know what to do honestly. I know a part of him still wants me though :/ really depressed now :(, Ive been on both sides of the coin in your situation. what can i do to fix this before its too late!? I know he still would like to spend the rest of his life with me. I forgave her, or so I thought. Good therapy does not have to last years and decades. Any advice would be appreciated. I honestly am confused and hurt and dont know what to do anymore. I would feel guilty every time I was talking about my interests because I knew he wasnt as in to them as I was, and I was probably boring him. Do that so you will be a really new Man for the next girlfriend. Rebuilding love after emotional damage can be difficult, but through forgiveness and effective communication a damaged relationship can be heal. UY You SAID exactly what I an living!! An update to my story is that for a while my wife and I were doing really well and then the bottom fell out. Follow the steps above and little by little she may stop being numb. And what can I do to make him trust me again? Started doing activities with them and really enjoying myself. There are families where it happens and it is no big deal, but many other people do find it a big deal. Right 3 weeks qfter this incident a boy confessed to me saying he was serious and all, then we started dating in online but i had been traumatised by my ex issue with parents thus i had been so insecure while dating. So I understand that and it hurts me but Im not mad at her or him for it. I dont know if my feelings can ever come back for him. On the other hand, he seems to be stuck in a pity party. He asked me to marry him a year and a half ago and I just didnt feel i could do it so after a month of wearing the ring i took it off and told him that we need to work at our relationship before we could do this step. If she is not sure, then being in different states will not help. Even I apologized to him a lot of time. And she was a virgin. He says he dont know if the love could come back. Good Morning. We had made promises to each other the first day we met physically; both of us vowed to get in shape and improve ourselves. and to connect with him. I saw mine, even if I saw it too late. Said it was the first time it happened since we started dating. She got drunk and more out of control than Ive ever seen her. I hurt my boyfriend really bad today. I finally said that I thought it was because I didnt really want to look in the deep, dark places that Ive had to go since this happened. Would he find you less attractive because you werent perfect? Psychologically, it seems there was a disconnect right there. Loving each other and really enjoying each other. A therapist sees you with more objective eyes than you see yourselves. Our relationship when we got back together two years ago was amazing. Thanks! You are working on all of it. She was mad. You are not alone: It turns out that almost all of us have times when we strongly dislike the people we love the mostalthough some of us may not even realize it. I then felt like it wasnt working because we arent on speaking terms & hes constantly ignoring me , but he would still look once or twice my way & I wont lie I do miss him a lot , what do I do ? Please advise . I was so in love with this man, more so than I was with my husband. Its hard to see things turning around but I really want it to. My boyfriend and I started talking a little over a year ago. Is there a chance? But I am doing everything like before and he still wants sexual relations but he keeps saying there is no chance . He was sorry, couldnt imagine life without me, blah blah. Our was not only child but freezing cold weather on Wednesday morning. Four months after we were married, I realised that he is a secret drinker. Ever since we had that fall out hes like a changed man. The act of letting go is simply the act of moving forward without the person you loved. At first I dismissed this saying No you have to go if you cant love me but then I got to thinking maybe this is an opportunity to show him I realize my weaknesses and that I realize I caused him to loose his since of self and rebuild things between us. Or am I just too stupid to see that he is playing me and toying with my emotions? Then comes running back few minutes later. My life is complete with him in it. Since my brothers passing everything changed for me I changed. I know its wrong, but i kept contact with the other guy and im so confused now. (He says she listens.) I clearly dont think he should be over it already but I always think the worst. Yes, it would be possible to fall in love with this man provided you have a highly skilled therapist or perhaps you both take my course. But we still came back to each other. I was truly upset over that. but few days ago we broke up. I love him more than anything and hes the love of my life. His comment reads gotta go listen to my sidechickthat I like. Thank you dr deb i really appreciate your answer i am desperate to get my husband back the thing is i dont have place in AZ to go and he doesnt offer me to move with them i do not know how can i stared because i will have to live my job behind and i do not know how stared again with out support any suggestions how can i make him interested on me again .any ideas when you say try to be sexy, how can i approach the situation he say hes not connected to me emotional and dont want to have anything with me and told me never make him happy how can i call his attention again because feel like we talk just as a friend that it nothing else .i feel if i dont do anything and i do not talk to him i feel desperate and also i feel like i am losing him day by day is any good place in AZ for good therapy we both can attend or how we can start all over again what kind the things i should I dont know what to do anymore!!!! His love saved me. I almost never have any sleep. She completely closed down and said she was taking the time out of her life for me because she thought I was different; Completly Honest!! The sex will be much better when that happens, I promise you. You can look at the introduction on my website 3 Keys to a Spectacular Marriage. Hello Dr. Deb My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. I have been always telling her no when she wanted to do something with our two kids. Since the problem is not one girl in particular. Its now august and things arent any better. It is necessary for a couple to understand this and this problem should be healed before marriage. "His dad married my mom's best friend. [And BTW, controlling people often do lack them; that is why they resort to pressuring others.] kids need their own home surrounded by their own familiar things and focus on yourself and them. My wife has just started an executive MBA which involves travel and I am 100% behind her in making sure she is successful. I have been always telling her no when she asks to go out. Id love to talk to him everyday as we used to, but I avoid doing that.How can I show him that Im different, that Im not needy or controlling anymore? My husband asked where his wheel trim was & Peter said its broken; got it out the trunk & showed my husband. He met a girl and decided to stay out late night and I caught him by calling her # she denied and he all did and then he said wasnt like that but he had a 30 min conversation with the following day.we talked n he promised he would change the following week he did it again and I caught her text him saying prove it your not with her.that morning I confronted him and he asked me and my daughter to leave the house since had feelings for this person.i moved out and Im really sad cus he didnt care one bit the damage he caused and now blames.me that whatever he had going on isnt there with that girl. These are question he needs to hear. Do you think my husband is really in love with his co worker like he says meaning theres just no chance of our marriage ever getting better and us not getting divorced. Ever since then I put up a wall and guarded my heart. He has never lied to me and usually says what he means, but Im lost. the reason was i have been in touch with my ex and i had never told him . I loved my girlfriend Tanya but whilst I was going through a rough time I spoke to another girl and it relived my stress and made me feel happy.I thought I started to get feelings for this girl (it wasnt I just liked talking)and I told my gf. Your boyfriends parents may have indulged him too much. Hi Alex I work with my ex and he did exactly this to me. So, I think that all bad things that happen are really good because they are an opportunity to learn so we can be better the next time. I figured hed just do it again.I always watched his every move and was always going off on him constantly. How does one physically connect with a man, who chose to take this road, without fear of rejection as has been the norm with him? He did every thing for me and my kids. When I said this is what therapy is for an objective outsider, I will add that a therapist is a competent objective outsider. And would he put that ring on your finger? help. And then when I realised about the drinking, and started watching for the drinking and realising it was happening EVERY day, and we had conversations about how I dont care if he drinks, but please please dont hide it from me because I cant bear the deception, but it continued anyway well, after two years of this, the final straw for me came 8 weeks ago when he drove drunk. The woman Ive been dating for 2 months is afraid of intimacy and has admitted to never being in love. What I cant understand why things need to change now he knows?!!! Hi Dr. Deb, She invited Peter to join our luncheon & I watched as my husband physically shuddered & a dark cloud came down over his face. I heard him sob once as he walked down the hall. He litterly does nothing. Im not sure if hes going through an insecure/inadequate/embarrased phase but I dont know how much longer I should give him. Next day she breaks up with me saying I am not in her future plans, she does this via text. I came back a few months later and life was good really good then one day he asked me to find an email with some info on it he needed for work. I do love him. Give him the time he needs or this will not work. I finally went back to the US and told him I wanted out if the marriage. I have been with my bf for 7 years. He is angry with me will not talk to me. Remember this: Loving is giving. I was lonely. Ive dated for a couple years and was in a serious relationship for two years but ended when I wanted marriage and she didnt. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind . 15 First Date Ideas . 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