Not every autistic child is the kind you can just take to starbucks or out for lunch! Consistency helps autistic children make sense of the world and feel secure. Would you publicly shame your child for not being who you thought theyd be? This article is a bit ridiculous. Parents share intimate details about their disabled childs meltdowns, bathroom struggles, medical histories, and more without hesitation. Look, having kids makes life harder as much as it makes life fulfilling. galapagos giant tortoise; droitwich rugby club shop; decaf coffee on sale near me; post-baccalaureate premedical program; where can i buy owen's transfusion mix; la colombe fishtown menu . (Because yall can hold down a job?) People need to know what a horrible nightmare it isand how it wrecks lives and marriages. This video went VIRAL. I think doing this by responding to a support thread is great. Facebook nowadays is a cesspool of narcissistic boomers, sl*ts, anti-vaxxers, white supremacists, conspiracy weirdos and other human trash, so posting a public video shaming your disabled children there means that youre not different from them. You dont, so just stop. Being explicit, and offering a better solution, clearly communicates that the behavior is ineffective. Although there are some common sense advices in this article, this author clearly doesnt have a child with severe autism. Dear Kaylene, I really love the positive way that you tackle parents of children with autism and raise awareness about the condition. I have not complained for 30 years. So stop blaming autism when autism itself isnt the issue. Its been 4 years since my oldest was diagnosed and almost 2 years since my middle baby was diagnosed, and Ive better educated myself on how to best accommodate thier needs. if your boyfriend is struggling to deal with your son's behaviour now there is no way he will in a few years, or maybe he just does not want to and is using your son as an excuse to get you to split up, you don't mentions his response to you splitting up. I dont know what you have to go through day to day but I can sympathize with anyone that has to face these hardships and loses their shit, all of us that are affected by autism live in a waking nightmare. Its very hard for people who have no issues. You dont want to believe the severely autistic even exist let alone cause their parents heartbreak. She is NOT complaining about her child. Yes, I am someone who was treated as an inconvenience and a burdenfor 50 years. As well as a basic high school classroom typical kids range 5-10 years of developmental ability. Develop the tech skills you need for work and life. There is this thing called Personal Boundaries, and the mother in the video and all these commenters defending her, dont understand what that is. Maybe she didnt handle it the way you would have but its not your kid. Now, as promised, there are ways to vent without causing harm to your child and other autistic people. I know it takes some of us a long time to connect with Actually Autistic community and by then you may have already gone down a path of trying to fix your child, and hating autism. Never around? Being non-speaking or intellectually disabled (those are VERY different things, by the way) doesnt negate that persons basic right to privacy, dignity, and respect. *This blog is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Would you assume that no one besides you would ever care about your child? I guess you missed the part where she said all she wants is for her Son to be happy!! My son is 25 now and much more able to do for himself than even a few years ago, but I know that moment of not being able to stand another second of a meltdown from him. Abusive?!? And she cries because if she dies before he does she doesnt believe anyone will go to her childs funeral. Remember that mistakes are normal, and no kid gets perfect caregivers. We get no breaks. Every single last internal concurring issue that isnt my Autism nor ADHD has been overlooked, therefore slowly, but surely, Im moving over to the societal low functioning scale. I love my kids. Right on! Luckily its only moms who have feelings. But usually they can fend for. Guess you dont have diapers you have to change on your own? They have a dogpile of kids and suddenly they have the moral authority to trash not only parents of typical kids but as proven here, parents of disabled kids. It clicked and everything has changed. we also care for a child diagnosed with autism who have achieved some of the remarkable things for a 14 year old. Stop shaming the moms of severely autistic kids. If the mother had the nerve to publish that content, she should deal with the consequences! No full nights sleep. My son is severe ASD and I often need to talk or vent, and I absolutely detest autism, and the things autism does to my son and our family, but in no way does that mean I hate him. Parenting an autistic child gets easier as they get older. Id give anything, painful as it would be, for him to be able to read even this BS and respond himself as to how messed up it is. She shares the good, the bad and the ugly. I am a high functioning autistic woman and I have a high functioning autistic child and a severely autistic learning disabled child. Your own attitude is half the battle. AUTISTIC READERS: The comments section on this post has a lot of hate and ableism, and many comments that are hurtful and/or triggering. You can also add beef to the diet, as this supplies carnitine, which helps in the digestion of EFAs. Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. The fact is that autistic advocatesfrom many different ability levels agree No one should publically complain about their autistic child. Older autistic people are able to communicate their experiences with burnout in a way toddlers can't. Adults have reported symptoms such as: Increased sensitivity to sensory stimuli, such as . So people can learn what autism is. That being able to string sentences together means the autism is easy (or indeed that its not even autism as stated further back in this thread by someone). Make sure your child knows that you love them, autism and all. Some objective points, but the majority was a joke. If you dont have a support network, Im so, so sorry to hear that! Just stop it. Im sorry, maybe your autistic kid is manageable. Surely you jest. I can't handle my Autistic 4 year old anymore I feel like a horrible mother . And how judgemental of YOU to not listen to the lady, if you had you would have heard how much she LOVED her child and was saddened that he would never have the things average kids will. NO it would NOT be. I work 7.30 hrs from home while she is sat on me and sleep on me. Think about it If a couple went to a concert, and the wife got overwhelmed and overstimulated, and she had a panic attack, Then the husband posted a video on Facebook talking about how EMBARASSING his wife was and how hard it made his life, How no one would love her because shes different How frustrating it is that he had to give up on his wife and her future, Many would call him emotionally abusive, and rightfully so. You are the reason we are bullied, treated poorly, dismissed, unable to get appropriate services, unable to get employment, abused, and even shot by police. Stuff posted on public media spaces never goes away, and can come back to haunt someday. Smh stop living in a pc fantasy world about true disabilities and stop trying to silence those that are raw and real about real life. What is even more upsetting than the article (not an article, but opinion piece) is that it has been shared 20K times it is great to support a person w/ autisms SELF-advocacy, but spreading hate and disinformation that ALL autism isnt a debilitating condition, is not a medical mystery to be solved ? Our little guy is absolutely perfect and exactly how God intended him to be. And doing it openly and publicly on the Internet is neither. It would be a miracle if my son could learn to express himself as people with Aspergers do. I cant drive with him because he kicks me in the back of the head and pulls my hair. Maybe that lady crying in her car about how hard her life is bc of autism had to the same thing everyday for the last week. The hell you watch them go through because theyve been thrown into this world alone in their head, us unable to help. Do you need support as a parent of a child with high needs? The moral police dont get to decide how other people deal with difficult emotions. Bottom line, there are plenty of ways for you to talk through your big fears and feelings when youre frustrated with autism or your autistic child. If I refuse thats a meltdown. Avoid pretending to understand, because your child can probably tell you're faking it. Eating enough food is more important than eating nutritious food. I have given more than my all into the depths I did not know existed. That is wrong. I am an autistic adult, I avoided the Autism world for a long time because I could not cope with how many times I felt hated by some parents. Always consult a doctor before altering a child's diet. Tell the police about your child, about autism, and about what you would want them to do if you called in a crisis. Autistic children need to know that self-harm is not appropriate or allowed, that you will always be there to help them handle it. Beautifully written! I think sharing about how to deal with parenting issues (regardless of whether the child is ND or NT) is invaluable. Autistics should be treated with the dignity of every other person, including speaking about them in a public forum. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inspectrum/201509/please-stop-whitewashing-autism. From an autistic childs perspective, and my other neurodivergent friends, they are delusional and dont care about what their actual children think, and someones identify shouldnt be my child is autistic. as minors, we do not want to be seen as tokens or things for our parents to control. but presumably because they can't handle him. He is the sweetest boy in the world and I adore him. Im a teacher and mother of a severe ASD child and even as a teacher, I had NEVER seen the severe side until my son, now 5, regressed. far more than a typical child. Serious sleep problems. You know this Spectrum, umbrella, some of us have it worse than others and stop playing the Im autistic, too card as a means to double down that YOU ARE RIGHT, there is no right, there is simply this fucked up reality and everyone has to navigate it differently some of us got it worse than others. My daughter has a fragile bone disorder and were desperate to keep him away from her so that he doesnt break her bones. Some days better than others. It is okay to casually let your child know that a stim looks odd. Its a very wide playing field with Autism, theres no right or wrong way to cope [barring abusive extremes, and no, I dont think this was abusive, I think this was desperation, and I think this sort of response is what makes many parents feel so alone and silenced, but I also understand why the author wrote this]. She should go to a therapist to work out her antagonistic feelings towards her kid. But not too worry. That it isnnt like that kid on TV who sang the national anthem. I know I am inflexible. She is offering you life changing insight. Your son smearing fecal matter in your face is communication. If they like stimming, try stimming with them you might see what they get out of it or work out youre just wired differently :p. Then dont be a part of those FB parents groups. There isnt any manual to child raising. Then get off your throne, stop judging, and write a post/blog entry about severe ASD and the need for finding and help for those individuals and their families. If anyone lets on that raising their kids isnt all rainbows and precious moments and is sometimes downright demoralizing, other people automatically assume that the venting parents are terrible, ungrateful and hate their kids. They might one day, no one knows your autistic childs future. My husband disappeared into his work, and I had another child who needed me as well. Yo, Autism parents. Thank you for such a thoughtful resource and such great ideas. I get it. 2. My oldest has her DL and when school thought she couldnt do it I said shell fail like any other child. No government services. Do you put your own clothes on before you wander outside in below freezing temperatures? Has anyone been in this situation and can give me some wisdom and advice or even just a 'you are not alone'? Your child may learn to communicate very well in alternative ways, such as sign language, typing, facilitated communication, and more. If my children were not autistic then that burden would not be there. Suggestions to keep this inside is ridiculous, harmful, unhealthy, crap advice. or comfort someone in pain? make sure you talk to them about how to handle the situation. The very fact that you wrote this tells me you have NO clue what severe autism is, or what it looks like. WOW, so many ableist and abusive comments from autism moms who have NO idea what autism actually is. He struggles with communication, which leads to most of his meltdowns, but they are rare now, and with his improvements, my health has improved in some ways, too. Intellectual disability and autism are intrinsically connected, both conditions come from the same pool of autistic genes only that HF autism have dormant intellectual disability genes while severe autism are active. Try to incorporate small fish, meats, fish oil, and cod liver oil into your childs diet. Id go on some more but My son decided to smear his poop all over the bathroom wall and floor, so I gotta go clean that up. Relatives dont want to help because they cant handle the insanity that is our daily life. This article was co-authored by Luna Rose. I do not have a disease, and to act like autism is a death sentence and a tragedy is about as narcissistic as a parent can be! If you have other children in the household, it can be a struggle to. 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