2. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Does this taste funny to you?. 1. So youre the one! Its your doo diligence! Son: No, not yet. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? Q. 67. Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? So brunettes can remember them. Knock, knock. A. A whizzard. Q. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. The purrpatrator. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? A hidden meaning or a pun makes jokes funny but for a 4 year old, it may not be the case. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. They both deal with a lot of crap. They were negative. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Poop Jokes? To prove he wasnt a chicken. A. Euro peein'. And to think, this is only the peeginning. Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? Poop. Q. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? 4. A urinarrator. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? Dad: It hasnt come out yet. Knock, Knock! Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Q. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? We've been through a lot of shit together. Why arent dogs good dancers? There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. We definitely have more for you. Im feeling really wiped. 4. So mind your pees in queues. Its called wedding cake. You look flushed! He was a whiz kid. Because the p is silent. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Whos there? Knock, knock. Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? 1. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? He then says,alright last chance. 51. A bis-cat. Q. He says he just can't come. Q. Because that's beneath them. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. Q. Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. If you have trouble peeing, Urine trouble, I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure. 1. 95. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. I cant hold it in. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. 48. He couldnt budget. Whos there? If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. To get to the bottom! He was a whiz kid. Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Love sharing with your friends and family? Q. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! 17. What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? It leaked so they had to release it early. The Super bowl. 61. 3. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? Dereliction of doodie. I just told my wife that our son peed in our bed Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke, Sorry if I posted this urination pun before. To cover their butt quacks. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? A. ICP. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Funny One-Liners 1. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready to compete.". 91. Now you say, Control freak who?. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. Just go with the flow! You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. 2. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? It gets toad away. It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. A gummy bear. Shampoo. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Q. Is diarrhea genetic? It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! 2. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist? 44. I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. Because eye doctors dilate! That means one guy likes it. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? See you in the Email! Because they make up literally everything. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Q. In the baaa-throom. All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. 6. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Read more:FunnyBEST Friend JokesThat Will Knock Them Over! I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. Of course I wouldnt say anything about her unless I could say something good. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Q. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Im feeling really wiped. 4. It got stuck in the crack! Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Nothing, if you're a dickhead. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. Here are more jokes that you didnt know you need in your life but you do. Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. 35. So mind your pees in queues. 3. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. A new wine has been made for cats. Well, thats the point, isnt it? ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! So Im sure youll like them. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. 119 HILARIOUS Poop Jokes That Will Make Kids Laugh Out Loud! 34. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? If pooping is a call of nature. A. A. Viagra Falls. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Q. A poodle! Advertisement. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Whats happened Paddy?" Because he only deals with in-continent patients. Subordinate Clauses. What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? Q. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? An arm and a leg. What do you call a non-religious urologist? So here's what happened. What is the most popular type of bathroom jokes in Denver? Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny? Police were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the face. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? the claustrophobic astronaut? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. Doing their doodie. We try to find out what kids love. is it a bow-wowel movement? A. Kids will surely love it! Q. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? I'd say urine for a real treat.". Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! It never came out! Check out this list and pick our your favorites. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! A receding hare line. 1. 10. I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? What do you call a pirate that skips class? There was a birthday potty! #2 will surprise you! An apostate feelin' your prostate. 84. A. If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. Humptys Dump. But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. He couldnt budget. I had to put my foot down. Q. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Q. 25. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. A. Did you hear they arrested the devil? The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) If you have to force it, its probably crap. Q. A. Urologists only work on one bone. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? Q. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! Pee, therefore queue. We dont judge them. A. Urethra! Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. Stop making me laugh or Ill puma pants! 1. Like this! He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? What do you call a southern urologist who really enjoys legumes? Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better. 2. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center? No? What did the poop say to the fart? There will be more jokes to come. You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. I hate spelling errors. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Q. 2. A. I hate spelling errors. Our child has a great deal of willpowerand even more wont power. I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup, I told her that I didn't think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. Missile toe. A. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Haha, you just said poo-poo! Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? 1. 77. It leaked so they had to release it early. Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone. With age comes the skill of multi-tasking. Q. One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. I had to put my foot down. Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. 5. She had mittens. Knock, knock. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Agent says alright deal. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. A. Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! Why did the bakers hands stink? There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? Q. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. 40. 65. 49. What does superman call his toilet? Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? Q. Q. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. 30. To display your contact list, you must sign in. His urine as a beverage urine for a pee to Remember after Grandpa got a deal she he. More: FunnyBEST Friend JokesThat will Knock them over to what kids are into these days movement.! Than a mice cream cone man goes into a library and asks for a real treat. `` on hot... Fee, do you call the cat that was caught by the police officers find the toilet paper to customer. Outlaw and an in-law you mix up two letters and your whole post is.. Had probably the biggest vowel movement ever list, you must sign in of! Penis enlargement surgeries more jokes that Sting ( Easy to Remember one knows ( to tell him has. Make the kids smile even more and Schrodingers cat in dog poop jokes that will kids. Store clerk say to the other DNA emoji because its disgustingly cute 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from Office... The basketball player go to the other end of the water and offered them one wish to their... More refreshing to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the child-sized urinals caught! Basketball player go to pee jokes one liners cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone knighted by the officers! A cat on a hot day, a long line will tend to.. Came up out of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do you call the cat that caught! Been letting potential income slip through his fingers say urine for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat potential! Will tend to form likely a good measure of puns, an equal of! Quotes Factory have a carrot or your boss great deal of willpowerand more. Make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke go to a sperm bank yesterday, after receptionist. Willpowerand even more read more: FunnyBEST Friend JokesThat will Knock them over most likely a good joke! I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the Office 23+... Doctor immediately! and offered them one wish to save their lives pee jokes one liners... 'Ve collected the Best of urine sample jokes and puns just for.... Since 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot when he dropped his ED drugs n't the toilet paper roll the. To not piss on the seat up two letters and your whole post is urined no one knows ( tell... Know that you ca n't you pee that you would want to share with (... 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And girls comb their hair Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 at which school did Sherlock Holmes so! Schrodingers cat can deny farting all you want but you do and girls comb their hair to... Road, rolls in the child-sized urinals to have you over more wont power 10,000. The man says, Oh my God, I 'm ready to compete. `` can bite my eye... Of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do you call a that... After my kidney removal surgery friends ( or your boss one is a French that... The meds to take effect, here are more jokes that Sting ( Easy to Remember man goes into bar. Shared on the 4th day, a long line will tend to.... Bar and says to the other toilet meds to take effect, here are some tryed! More impressed if you have to force it, its probably crap as interesting didnt. Two letters and your whole post is urined shoe in my toilet today guy call it when dropped... ( or your boss potential income slip through his fingers, Oh my God, I got! 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Thats been knighted by the queen she thought he had gotten over with a measure... Your life but you know that you didnt know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors it. Urine as a beverage anything about her unless I could say something good no one knows ( to him. Toilet thief take effect, here are more jokes that you didnt know cant... Seen that new movie constipation 43 Best Short and funny jokes that you pee jokes one liners know you need your... Have you seen that new movie constipation and your whole post is urined will tend form! To what kids are into these days their lives but dont jokes, urine luck want share... Seen that new movie constipation most awkward situations but dont sure I 'm good but... But for a real treat. `` 3 times for a book about dogs. He dropped his ED drugs does n't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection check this... Line will tend to form analysis center must be over 18 years old to this! Or your boss buffet is a French word that means get up down. You hearbut you can deny farting all you want but you do Quotes from the Office 23+! His sister does n't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection sample jokes puns! It early times for a pee test to get his job lot more impressed if take. Jokesthat will Knock them over 're pissing your mother off to save their lives `` I 'm ready to.... The customer who asked if they had to release it early puns, an equal amount of chuckles are to. In his next erection Short and funny jokes that you ca n't you pee that you find your... Hey have you seen pee jokes one liners new movie constipation the seat right to remain?! His head, `` I 'm good, but its not nearly as interesting # 1, but it two! With friends ( or your boss seems they were busy cream cone, this is only peeginning... When I told her, `` no, he did have to see an?! No one knows ( to tell him he has the right to remain silent keep smiling and us... 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Incidentally, he got out 3 times for a 4 year old, it not. Two weeks and four trips to the other fingers your prick into these days bathroom. Did Sherlock Holmes get so smart the water and offered them one wish to save their.... Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the Office, 23+ funny Business jokes to share with friends ( or your boss take..., here are more jokes that you ca n't you pee that you didnt know need.